well I can't set my house on fire every night
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
