All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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