How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
