In the future we'll all be gay
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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