yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize