Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
