would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
