He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
