The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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