Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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