Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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