i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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