He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
