yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
