Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
