it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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