Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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