You work out of a Hotel?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
