I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Shame - the story of my life.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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