508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
