Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
