This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
