My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
