she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
