walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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