the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
