Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The air was thick with penises
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
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