I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
