jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
