i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My ass is underappreciated
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
