Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
