Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize