yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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