My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
bring money and cleavage
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
