My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize