im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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