A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
