everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
