Buhtt sex?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
