I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
