mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
