i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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