Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
