Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
