Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Small penises have feelings too.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
