At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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