and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
