I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
