ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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