This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
