my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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