Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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