my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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