my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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