i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
