In the future we'll all be gay
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Drake has all the answers
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
