I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
