No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
