she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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