That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize