your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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