That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
