I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
