carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
