well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
