Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
