My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
