You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
