i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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